Clearing the Air for Explosive Orgasms: How to Deal with Emotional Baggage in Your Relationship

It's likely that someone who claims to travel light is lying. The majority of us carry a lot of baggage. Our first post on the orgasmic topic examined some of the more general baggage. What about our personal belongings, though?

Our sex lives might be seriously hampered by past relationships and mental blows. We've allowed the names and faces of past romantic partners to linger in the shadows of our memories, which is why they might appear in the bedroom at any time and without warning.

On occasion, though, the luggage is more current. We occasionally keep our small grievances and grudges within of us, ready to be released during a confrontation. Let's face it, even if we aren't even aware that we are doing it. We carry it out.

We hold onto things that should be let go. We cling to it because we don't want to be overcome by our companions. We take pride in holding onto it. As a result, animosity develops, and animosity often simmers for a very long time. Things can get really unpleasant when the lid eventually blows off.

As a man, I am aware of how difficult it is for males to move past our women's pasts. Women are not something we prefer to conceive of as anything but undiscovered. But how likely is that, unless she's a freaking nun, unless we're both fourteen or she's fourteen?

Guys, come on. Come on, let's be honest.

The first step to making each other's pain a little less is to be aware of each other's tender spots. Even though it might not be enjoyable, we should take up some of those boulders and investigate beneath them. It's a procedure. It cannot be forced. However, if you have trust (that word again), it will occur.

Your wife is a dark continent with a wealth of fascinating knowledge. A portion of the data is confidential, and you won't ever have full access to it. Nobody owes you the whole narrative. A portion of it will always be hidden. Tell me that you don't experience some of that personally. past letdowns. Past setbacks and slights can haunt us for the rest of our lives. That or we can discuss them, at least a few of them. It's worth it to do whatever it takes to unlock your woman's vault. Telling her she can trust you is the first thing you can do. For many, that one is difficult.

It takes time and patience to build trust, and as I previously mentioned, you might never be able to bring everything to light. However, you should approach getting to know a lady and discovering what might be preventing her from fully enjoying you as a project with the same zeal as you would an engine overhaul or a home renovation.

Seek out chances. In what place is she reserving her anger? Particularly if she's holding back sexually, there's definitely a very good reason. Even while it might not make a whole lot of sense to you, at least by learning more, you can get a better understanding. You will have gained a deeper understanding of your wife and will have the story. This implies that you'll get a second look at how she arrives in the fabled kingdom of "O." It's not just about anatomy, mechanics, and playthings. A portion of it concerns what eats away at people's inner selves.

As we mentioned before, every woman is unique, and the same is true for every guy. This implies that the storyline of hers differs greatly from everyone else's, and some of it will not appeal to you. Don't evaluate the tale. Simply make an effort to comprehend it.

Take out and burn the grievances you two have against one another, just like you would old pictures of your ex-partners. Don't tell me there aren't any. They're only taking up space where you should be enjoying each other's company sexually. Instead of filling the room with climax joy and your woman's beaming smile from repeatedly and loudly getting off, they are just stinking it up.

Keep your resentment in check. Be the first to apologize after a fight.

I understand your thoughts. You believe there's no need to apologize because she's always at fault. Or perhaps you're thinking that the best course of action would be to remain silent and use passive aggression. No. Man, stop being a dick. Improve yourself.

Since you were present, you bear equal responsibility for the situation as she does. Whether we're talking about your conflicts or the orgasms you experience during your love play, it takes two to build a cake. Since you are both accountable, it is up to you to take charge, disassemble the engine, and identify the issue.

Applying lipstick to a pig is what makeup sex is like, so it's not the answer. It remains a pig. The reason for the altercation still exists. The points raised by you both remain valid. The anger is still there, simmering, waiting to explode and ruin your life repeatedly. It will also grow.

It's very simple to let a great deal of other people to join in on animosity that has been allowed to develop over a particular incident. That may occupy a large amount of room. If you allow these resentments to fester, you will eventually hate each other's guts and find it impossible for you and your partner to enjoy each other in any capacity, including sexually.

Let everything hang in the balance if you think that's a good bargain. It's not a wonderful way to live, in my opinion, and it's definitely not a great way to have a fulfilling, climax-filled sexual life (unless you choose to fly solo over the team; that's not to suggest there's anything wrong with it; I'm just saying).

Another approach to make sure you can assist your woman in experiencing an orgasm each time you have sex with her is to clear the air. Women tend to harbor grudges for extended periods of time. More than you, they are unwilling to take them out and examine them. Unknowingly, women's feelings might sometimes interfere with their enjoyment of sex. A woman's desire for sexual relations with you may be destroyed by the internal tension brought on by the accumulation of grievances over time, which is a terrible way for them to react to you. She is also opposed to it.

I'll repeat it again like I did earlier. Talk is a four-letter word that means orgasm and sex. Discuss it. With the correct form of communication between you and your woman, you can kill the resentment or the world of physical pleasure that can become yours. It's not easy, I know. Sometimes, we'd prefer to just put up with things quietly because that's how we've been trained to act. Let me ask you something, though. When did it ever improve the nice thing you had with your woman? When has having a lot of pent-up emotions that you'd want to let out improved your sex life?

As far as you know, it hasn't.

Anytime you initiate a conversation like the one we're having, be sure you know when and how to bring up the topic. Instead of writing a screenplay word for word, have a strategy. Being unprepared will make you more susceptible to making a "blurt."

The "blurt" will appear out of the blue. It can blow the whole thing to hell and rip itself out of your face faster than a beer belch. Steer clear of it. Consider attacking it at the larynx. Prepare your speech in advance and enter the discussion with the understanding that it will be a two-way exchange in which you will listen as much as you speak. You'll hold off till she's finished speaking. She'll reciprocate for you, but perhaps let you know ahead of time that this is how things will work out. It's a good idea to decide not to interrupt each other before anyone actually starts expressing their thoughts if you find it difficult to wait for the other person to finish before moving on. Perhaps have something that you two can give to each other. This is a talking circle tool used by Native Americans. Using a "talking stick," be it a feather or a dildo (which may double as an icebreaker), is an excellent method to keep everyone accountable.

Take her hands. Gaze directly into her eyes. Express your admiration for her to her. Setting the scene also entails having conversations that clear the air and provide room for her earth-shattering orgasms and the kind of mind-blowing sex.

Maybe you don't want to. You're probably thinking I'm a moron right now for even bringing up this topic. But if you want to go on to the nice stuff, you have to do it. Apologies, guys. However, this is one of the rare occasions when you truly must swallow your pride.