The Sub's Position

This book is not about playing the slave.Rather, it's about how you, as the Master, must comprehend the slave—the bottom or submissive. As we have seen, mastering the submissive's mindset is essential to become a superb dominant man who can instruct anyone.

To a certain degree, understanding established roles IS necessary for mastering the submit. Like in:

A confident, alpha-male type is what a submissive wants to tell her what to do.

When it comes to erotic taboos, a submissive trusts that you will take care of her and not push her past her comfort level or readiness.

A submissive wants to feel that you "love" her and that all of your rules are in place to guide, support, and educate her to comply.

Learning about the INDIVIDUAL and interacting with her adds another depth of complexity that lies beyond the peripherals.

Now, at times, submissive communication can be really specific, and during the "role play," in which you both assume roles, she will tell you exactly what she wants. Still, there are plenty of subordinates who want you to find out what they want and how they want to be trained, and who STAY IN CHARACTER the entire time.

Now that we've talked about how vital it is to know yourself, your unique selling proposition, and your own strengths, it's time to master your submissive.

Of course, being attentive is essential.

Tip #18: Pay close attention to everything your sub says, watch her closely, and take mental notes.

Avoid becoming overly fixated on performing your part to the point that you lose focus on what she is saying and providing you cues.

Overemphasizing your domineering and masterful statements will cause you to miss some of her cues and lessen the intensity of the session. Try your best to:

Pay attention to what she says.

observing her facial expressions and body language to determine what makes her stand up or turn her on

Take note of the tone in which she speaks.

The submissive will begin to disclose herself and offer you her darkest dreams to satisfy as soon as she notices that you are paying attention and that the session is truly focused on her training and taboos.

You actually don't need to guess at all, that's correct. You just open yourself to them, projecting confidence and ease.

Some submissives will only be interested in pursuing the specialty you mentioned; they will have very definite goals in mind. There are submissives who are obsessed with having sex and shattering their own particular taboos. Perhaps she wants to connect with her "inner slut," but she's putting her trust in you to allow her to do it in a powerful and secure way. Many women would like to explore their inhibitions, but they are hesitant to do so unless they have a firm grounding in reality, are in reasonable control, and are guaranteed not to be harmed, embarrassed, or injured.

However, in order to achieve this level of closeness, YOU must be prepared, capable, and accountable.

This takes us to still another crucial point: the submissive wants to avoid overanalyzing the procedure. Therefore, if it doesn't seem like you're communicating properly, either you're being overbearing rather than assertive, or you might be forcing her to think too much and prevent her from feeling.

Tip #19: Make your statements, ideas, and directives clear and concise. earliest.

Focus on emotional communication to elicit a response from her. The emotions you evoke are more important than the words you say. Strong emotions should be the foundation for even the mental imagery you conjure up for her.

The submissive ideally wants to be freed and to feel the pleasure and pain of engaging in this forbidden behavior. She wants to simply switch off her logical mind and give herself over to you, trusting that you will do the thinking for her. Because of the ideas you are providing her, she is yearning to feel.

She will feel liberated by this experience, which she can easily justify because you are in charge and all she needs to do to indulge her most outrageous thoughts and desires is surrender to you—you who will lead the way and have a plan.

What Action Is Expected of You by the Sub?

There are some expectations from the sub about your work. You can discipline her, train her, issue commands, and reinforce negative attitudes through repetition in addition to taking the initiative and engaging her in discussion.

By reaching the LIMITS of her boundaries and bending them without going over her contract, you are truly reaching her limits rather than breaking her rules or pushing her buttons with the intention of hurting or embarrassing her.

Tip #20: Even though the taboo itself is alluring, be aware of your sub's boundaries and what actions will put her outside of her comfort zone.

If you yourself don't even understand what "too far" is, then you can't truly be trusted to keep her safe. Consider beforehand what it is that she does not want and make a conscious effort to stay below this line.

It is true that the sub expects you to take her out of her daily routine and perform the things that are forbidden but that you want to do. Additionally, she wants you to reprimand and praise her in proportion to how quickly she obeys you.

It's this intensity that would make her want to see you again and again.

Trade of Power

You have to talk with maturity and take pride in who you are and what you want in order to keep your position of authority over the sub. This implies that there should be no regrets, excuses, or second-guesses about the directive. This is particularly crucial if you want to express your erotic impulses out loud. Since this is part of turning on the sub and getting them to listen to you, you cannot be too timid or afraid to express what you want.

The power dynamic—you controlling her—only functions when there is mutual trust and she has faith in the decisions you make for her. This is when training comes into play because you praise her and show her that you appreciate her excellent conduct when she learns to trust you. This contrasts with the different degrees of "discipline" you apply to her (either because of a mistake she made or just because of the kind of person she is).

Tip #21: Don't merely discipline her. When she tries her hardest to satisfy you, give her something.

She gains skills to become a better sub through the give and take, reward and punishment. Giving her a compliment or engaging in an activity she appreciates (like spanking) could serve as a reward. Punishment, on the other hand, entails making her do something she has never done before and maybe feels conflicted about. Say, planting a kiss on Dom's feet. Since it's naïve to assume a sub will accept your discipline, this should truly be discussed during the negotiating period. Failure to do so could result in serious misunderstandings and a loss of trust.

Sincerity Molds Your Master's Thought Process

If you're struggling to come up with something to say or how to say it, keep in mind that being honest always works. Too frequently, men become agitated when attempting to express their thoughts "politely" or when attempting to construct a well-chosen series of sentences. But in the role-playing "dungeon," candor is the best policy.

Lying has no purpose and, as in real life, does nothing but erode trust. Don't lie, then. Make your honesty powerful instead—perhaps even to the point of being "honest to a fault"—the kind of stuff you just wouldn't say in front of others.

A lot of role players will talk about this before to the "scene" since being open and honest about what you need and desire from the submissive is important to the communication process.

Tip #22: Always be honest in your communication and let your sub know how you're feeling.

Despite your socially conscious conscience telling you not to, don't hesitate to speak out what you want to say.

Conversely, you are not supposed to tell them what you believe they would like to hear. That's not "honesty," is it? That's not the truth either.

Being sincere matters more than delivering the ideal "movie line." It has nothing to do with cunning or speaking and thinking quickly. It has to do with dialogue. Knowing what the sub wants (based on their type) and, more crucially, what they're SAYING through verbal and nonverbal signs, requires feeling, sensing, and "reading" the sub.

Now, how do you talk too honestly without upsetting the sub and making her leave the scene?

Tip #23: Try not to give attention to how you feel. Pay attention to her feelings. Talk about that. Focus solely on her feelings and how her presence affects you.

After talking about the fundamentals of the sub's desires and your motivation, it's time to talk about how to carry out the RIGHT concepts incorrectly.

Let's talk about the misconceptions regarding discipline that the mainstream media has.