Unlocking Desire: Exploring Power Dynamics in the Bedroom

 Changing it up

Letting go plays a huge element in sex and sexual pleasure. One type of adult play is sex. You didn't let reality get in the way of your imaginary pastimes as a child, such dressing up or role-playing your favorite TV show? Why should you indulge in adult play by doing it right now?

In the kink chapter, we touched on gender roles with regard to the submissive and dominant partners; now, let's delve deeper. It was a double entendre, yes. Let's discuss how changing things up can help you exert Orgasmatronic control over the number and intensity of her (many) orgasms and how it can be a big turn on for your woman.

We've already talked about the expectations society has for both men and women. But those are not applicable in the world of sex. The purpose of sex is to communicate our true feelings and let rid of tension. We might be successful business leaders in life, but what about in bed? Perhaps we are not us. Perhaps we are not the ones in charge and the ones who make all the decisions? Perhaps we exhibit some subservience.

Male dominance and female passivity were emphasized as the default state in early psychotherapy models, such as those of Kraft-Ebing and Freud. Freud even went so far as to propose that masochism was innate in women. However, these definitions are really restricted, and when you think about it, they've actually had a significant effect on how men and women view one another. Additionally, it may be restrictive. Why should we confine ourselves to the advice of some elderly psychologists regarding our thoughts and actions when sex is its own universe?

And everything I've just said still holds true for both men and women in the twenty-first century. In every aspect of their existence, no one is entirely one thing or the other. Just as the high-powered executive might be willing to hang up his domineering, bossy ways along with his tie when he gets nude, the meek, retiring librarian can be a conquering Amazon in the bedroom. Men are librarians these days. Women have powerful positions as doctors, fire fighters, executives, and perhaps even the president of the United States of America in the near future. With time, the roles we often assign to one another based on gender become less and less significant. For more of us, it means that enjoying breakfast in bed is now easier than it was even a decade ago, since the playing field beyond the bedroom door has leveled.

And that's a really, really positive thing.

We can experience a different aspect of ourselves that we might be hesitant to show to people by letting go of the person we present to the world on a daily basis. Intimately exchanging our bodies and feelings with another person for mutual enjoyment is what sex is all about. As it sort of goes with the territory, let's talk about how we might move outside of ourselves and explore our submissive and dominating sides with our partners.

Not every woman has to be subservient.

Take a look at the women in your vicinity. Each of them has a unique personality. They engage in distinct activities. Their interests diverge. Since the 1950s, a lot of time has passed, and the disruption of established gender roles is a reflection of that. Women now work in every field imaginable, and mothers no longer often stay at home to raise their children. Nevertheless, a lot of individuals still use certain stereotypes when forming opinions about women.

Because many women, even now, accept it as the case without considering the other side of their personalities, we tend to think of women as innately submissive, and that's an extremely essential component of women's sexuality.

I would contend that the very nature of the sex act itself leads us to believe that women are inherently subservient. Men use their penises to penetrate women. Without a doubt, this is a biologically dominant act. I would be dishonest, though, if I said that males don't respect women's schedules and their "yeses" or "nays" when they pursue them. It would not be socially acceptable in most countries on Earth if they didn't do so, if they demanded that women give in to men's urge for sex whenever they pleased. It was true for thousands of years, but males can no longer act as though women are anybody other than the ones who decide who gets the good stuff.

Women rule when all of this is taken into account. The mother of the main character in the movie My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding tells her: "The woman is like the neck." The character is her daughter. The neck turns the head, even though the man may be the head. That was a eureka moment!"It's a moment you should consider, my brothers, and one for me. Additionally consider the fact that an elderly Greek woman speaks these lines in the movie. Greek women are expected to exhibit generalized surrender to the needs of men, and this makes Greek culture notoriously harsh on them. Although this mom outwardly followed such ideals, she was aware of the real situation and told her daughter about it.

Therefore, despite the fact that women still appear to adopt a submissive posture in many situations and ways, the reality is that they are not inherently submissive. Although some women may naturally be subservient, this trait is not required by biology. Guys, it's a social thing. It's also quite personal, based on her upbringing, culture, and self-perception. It's your responsibility to get her to reveal what she truly wants, and the more faith she has in you, the easier that will be.

Not all males are inevitably domineering

Men are taught many ideas about what it is to be a man from the moment they can comprehend spoken language. Just as "woman" is an idea about femininity, so too is "man" an idea about masculinity. But beyond the biological wackiness and the chemical distinctions that go along with that, we are every bit as distinctive as women.

We're told to "be a man," "suck it up," and generally beat our chests at other men who are foolish enough to challenge us on anything. We are socialized to be combative, emotional ill-equipped, reactive, and occasionally snarly. But I'm not able to make that work. It probably doesn't work for most of the males who are reading this, too.

Though some guys may find this offensive, not all of us go around bowlegged because our balls are too enormous for us to walk normally. Really? There are men in our world (we all know at least one) who appear to believe that a nut sack is the source of their manhood. I'm not sure about you, but I do know that my balls have a purpose (and can be entertaining at gatherings). It's acceptable that not every male on the planet aspires to be a big, nasty Alpha Male.

Another cultural presumption that influences how people perceive us is that we are dominated by men. Similar to women, it often places a large number of us in a manliness group that is considered undesirable. And that's the ontological straightjacket men are meant to live in, right there. It can be a tiring and hot task to shrug it off, and strangely, the views of other guys are the hardest to change. Since women are now engaged in hunting and gathering, where does that leave us, the alleged hunters and gatherers of the human race?

It leaves us with ourselves, I suppose, and the truth is that not many guys feel particularly at ease in that role. It implies that even though we'd prefer not to, we must consider it.

The reason for this is because we have been taught our entire lives that we are active beings. Instead than thinking about things, we should force them to happen when we want them to. It's also our right to take what we desire, including women. The issue is that women are not ours to possess. Women are independent, self-sufficient entities unto themselves, and we share the same humanity. This implies that neither they nor us fit into the categories labeled "dominant" or "submissive." It also holds true in the bedroom.

Not every man feels at ease in a leadership role. It's safe to argue that humans are not robots, even though some claim that we're hardwired to act in that way. I am aware that I am not. Now, here's the thing: I want to talk about the bedroom as an open environment where we may explore our desires and those of women. Including the notion that we can be subservient and they can be dominant is one aspect of that. On the playground, our imaginations used to run wild when we were kids. Why can't we grownups do the same in the bedroom, the adult playground?

Speaking about it

Once more, that four-letter word: talk. Agent Orgasmo is the most significant word in your lexicon of sexual terms, and you will refer to it frequently as you explore the depths of what is possible in terms of sex when you discuss your mutual interests with your partner.

Reaching the bottom of the erotic well requires getting to know one another very well. Being aware of your partner's thoughts and fantasies will make your time together, even if you are not in a monogamous relationship, much more passionate.

Here's a really crucial piece of advice: you can't just start talking about your desires.and anticipate getting the desired response. That is not how women work. Building trust is what women like to do. They want to know that you won't tell every Tom, Dick, and Jane you speak to about that trash around town. It must be made obvious that the topic of discussion is personal to you both and will help your sex. Rather than poking her in potentially sensitive regions, this will bring you much further.

An appropriate time to bring up the topic? Well, the bedroom, naturally! You can discuss it after you've had sex or even as part of your foreplay tactic if you've built the necessary trust. Play around with the concepts you offer your significant other. You must therefore possess a fair amount of adventure.

The obedient man

What happens if her fantasy involves "pegging," or having a dildo pierce you? For that jelly, are you ready? A finger, how about it? If not, proceed cautiously. If she imagines herself controlling you, you better be prepared for what's going to happen.

I can almost hear your anxiety centers popping everywhere! Guys, here's the thing: male anal penetration isn't inherently "gay." And allow me to pose this question to you: Why do so many guys find it intriguing to get inside women's private areas? To be honest, there isn't much in it for them because they don't have prostate glands, which we will discuss momentarily. However, a lot of women say they like doing this. If that's their favorite role, I assume they like being submissive about it. While that doesn't imply that they all agree with it, some women do. You have an advantage over women in this situation—and no, I'm not referring about your outward clutter. I am referring to the inside clutter that many guys choose to ignore.

Anal intercourse is occasionally engaged in by gay men and straight men alike, and the reason for this is the prostate gland. The perineum, a thin membrane, is all that separates the prostate gland, which resembles a small mound, from the rectum. The prostate gland, which is situated on the front, or front, wall of the rectum closest to your genitalia, can even be "milked" to induce an orgasm. You can experience some of the most spectacular, extravagant orgasms of your life by stimulating this gland. Believe me. Some of you may want to pinch your butt cheeks at this point because it can only be accessed through the anus. Do you know what else can be accessed via the anus? a complete third of your phallus. There's an amazing one-third of your dick inside somewhere, and you've probably never laid eyes on that specific area of your back forty. (PUT DIAGRAM HERE).

I'm sorry, but it's the reality. You're missing out if you haven't gotten to know that region of your body; I know it's difficult for many males. You're losing out on an entirely new universe of possibilities that will make you and your woman feel more attracted to one other than you ever could have imagined.

I understand if that causes you any trouble. Don't discount it, though. If you're unsure, you might want to give it a try before bringing up the topic of female sexual dominance with your partner. You can investigate prostate response in the seclusion of your own (definitely frequent) masturbation sessions with a little lubrication.

The bedroom is a terrific spot to deliver a nonverbal message, if you're willing to go there. You can indicate to her that you're open to being penetrated by her by directing her hand to your anus. Start with your little finger, if that's how you want to proceed. There are a ton of women out there who will find this to be so very sexy that they will work with you until the two of you have perfected it as an art form.

If you discover that ass play suits you, you might want to take it a step further, which entails pegging. Strap-ons aren't just for lesbians or "girly girls"—they're also for heterosexual women who have willing partners, and, contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of us in the globe. I will emphasize once more that male anal intercourse is not just for our gay brothers and sisters. It's meant for guys who are into het stuff as well, and those of us who are are into it for damned good reasons, like the magical prostate gland mentioned above.

But can you fathom the power of putting on a penis and working on your lover's ass when it comes to turning her on? This act gives great pleasure to many women, therefore it shouldn't be discounted as a means of advancing her toward the Big Bang. You should give in to your urge and consider carefully whether you are truly ready for that jelly if she is an Amazon dominatrix who has a thing for your man cave. In addition to being incredibly fulfilling, it shouldn't hurt. Since everyone's enjoyment is the main reason you're there, anal penetration is a procedure that should be handled with caution and consideration. If you're willing to give it a shot, the benefits could be endless—for both you and your partner.

In addition to role-playing and bondage, there are plenty more ways to discover your submissive side, such as serving your woman. Playing with her feet can be a great way to do this, especially if you're like painting her toenails and spending your time showing your mistress how much you care by smothering her in affection. Since a woman's toes are her route to her genitalia, as we've already covered, taking your time touching this area of her physiology will set her up for an unrelenting wave of orgasmic bliss.

Being instructed what to do sexually by a woman may be incredibly liberating, even if many men won't accept it. We constantly take the initiative and rule the game. However, some of us like to explore our submissive sides by stepping outside of that role. This may be a very wild and amazing experience. Would you mind thinking about it for a moment? What stands to lose for you? It's not as simple as some people would have you believe to define masculinity. It's a complex subject, much like femininity, so it's advisable to discover more about your identity as a male. You might discover a lot about yourself and a whole new aspect of what it means to be a man by spending time with the appropriate lady.

The powerful female

First. appropriate. feminine. A delicate, pink blossom. When talking about the ideal woman, these phrases crop up over and time again. Undoubtedly, the times have changed, and with it, the roles that are considered acceptable for women. Still, there are beliefs about what women ought to "become." A paradigm of femininity that is ingrained in the public awareness requires women to act and express themselves in ways that are generally acknowledged as conventional.

Millions of women worldwide continue to wear what is essentially the gender straightjacket for women, which defines them and holds them to standards of behavior, including sexuality. The majority of women wear it without even realizing it. Instead, they comply with it as it is what other people want and expect from them. Though undetectable to most women, it shows up visibly in other cultures. One of its more aggressive forms is the burka. Proponents claim that it will "free" women from men's scrutiny by completely erasing the woman's appearance in public beneath a black, impenetrable veil. I don't know about you, but it seems to me that the issue here is more with the ogling than it is with the women.

However, a plethora of different manifestations exist that purport to be "liberating." One is the miniskirt. The miniskirt originated in the 1960s, a decade known for its liberation, and it was believed to magically empower women, even in the dead of winter. There's nothing more empowering than a Chicago cold wind on your behind! Women's crotches and butts were hardly concealed by the traditional miniskirt.

In a manner that men simply aren't, women are expected to adhere to cultural ideals of beauty. One of the hardest things about being a woman is this. Despite the fact that our appearances can be pretty much whatever we choose (depending on our line of work), women are supposed to look well-groomed, presentable, smell amazing, and wear clothing that highlights their physical features. And since society expects women to live their entire lives with the bodies they had as teenagers, those assets had better be on the lesser end of the spectrum. The embodiment of the American ideal of femininity is none other than Nancy Reagan. Her Chanel clothes would be too small for most finger puppets to fit into as the Eternal Girl.

Women are expected to be younger and more beautiful than males are. That still holds true even though women are starting to expect men to possess the same aesthetic virtue as them as they start to step outside of their conventional roles. Many males have expressed their displeasure with this tendency to me, but it's easy to see that it pales in comparison to the objectification that women experience.

Women's bodies are constantly examined and criticized. There's always a new diet to keep them trim or a new face cream to keep them looking young. They can do better; they're not good enough, is the message. Every day of their lives, women are given the idea that perfection is the goal. What effect does that have in the bedroom?

How can women find freedom in the bedroom if they are constantly bombarded with messages telling them that they shouldn't like the way they look and feel about themselves? The narrative of their lives has told them they don't deserve to give themselves over to their own pleasure because they are the "wrong" size and shape, not attractive enough, not youthful enough, or simply insufficient. How are they to achieve this?

The majority of women are well aware that marketing exacerbates their neuroses and prevents them from fully appreciating life's blessings. However, they must continue to participate in the game in order to survive. The problem is that some of them react to this misuse of commerce from behind closed doors in their bedrooms. In response, they level up and assume control of the sexual sphere. They live so much of their life under the constant sway of social pressure that they don't really become themselves until they strip off and face reality. These are strong, sexually assertive women, and when they're on display, they're quite amazing.

Author of the Bad Girl's Bible, an online sexual manual for ladies who prefer to get it on and don't hold back, Sean Jameson is an online authority. Jameson reminds his readers that dominance does not always require whips and chains and can be psychological as much as physical. Some bedrooms have a spot for those, sometimes. However, your words have just as much power as your actions. For instance, a lady might tell you, quite simply, that you won't be experiencing an orgasm until she's experienced a particular number of them. She might also express to you how much she enjoys having her needs met when you serve her in bed.

Selecting situations where your woman is taking the lead is a good place to start assisting her in discovering her dominating side. That is, she should be leading the charge, dictating the tempo and level of intensity. You must also commit to be submissive in order to support her in her exploration. As I mentioned before, it could be difficult for you to understand, but the benefits—for both of you—far outweigh any qualms you might have. Keep in mind that the main focus of this book is on sexual practices and strategies that will help you take your partner to the Land of "O." Agent Orgasmo is a man on a mission—his woman's orgasm—so he isn't shy about anything sexual.

Asking her what you can do for her can encourage her to be more assertive. It's not only for bedtime. This is a drama that has application in various spheres of life. When you are shopping, ask if you can carry something for her. Find out if she wants you to help her with some errands. Make it clear that you want to win her over. Perhaps you should address her as "mistress" or "my queen" when you think the timing is appropriate. With its BDSM implications, calling her a "mistress" will undoubtedly catch her attention. If you use it before a sexual encounter, she will know that you want to assume the position of the submissive and be under her control. Asking her what her current enjoyment is will motivate her to offer you commands or orders while you're in the bedroom. When you tell her that you are here to serve her, you will see her glow with pre-orgasmic pleasure. This is her pass to the kind of fun she wants to have with you so much but might be too shy to ask for. Assist her in releasing the jams!

You are free to experiment with changing the typical roles of the submit and the dominant to whatever extent you are comfortable. Plays like this one are quite individualized. A lot relies on how much you trust one another, how open you are to communication, and how quickly you act on what you have talked about. For the two of you, experimenting with and changing up typical sexual roles may be really fulfilling and freeing. You should explore this area of the erotic universe with your partner if you think it to be attractive. You can experience orgasms there!